my heart is out at sea, my head all over the place

This week so far has been so dull. Times really beginning to drag, i just want to get home to see everyone. I have so much to look forward to at the moment though which is really exciting, the next couple of weeks are going to be really really fun. At the moment i'm most looking forward to seeing the mighty boosh with sophie at Brixton and being back with my boy. Also going to see you me at six at the Phoenix in Exeter is going to be so so good, their new stuff is actually really good, its equally as catchy as their previous hits but also has more meaning and sounds a lot more grown up. Im loving it!

I really need to think of more photoshoots to plan out though, im thinking of perhaps doing a halloween themed shoot, because i love halloween, taking some self portraits dressed as minnie mouse outside, possibly some on the beach too. I also really want to start experimenting with more landscape shots and try learn some more techniques for post production which im really not very good at currently. When i get my mac which im saving up for im sure i'll be able to teach myself better editing skills. And of course when i go back home i will be taking a lot of photos of my boy and friends to adorn my room and keep me happy.

I really need to stop internet shopping and looking in magazines because its actually so so depressing! Again im hoping to work this weekend but theres just no guarantee and im so in debt and fed up with not being able to buy anything nice. Although having no money is definitely making me broaden my horizons when it comes to getting dressed in the morning and i've also properly customized my first vintage item, which was the skirt i posted before which i've now cut off the bottom part so its a cute short skirt which i wore to college and got so many compliments so i was very proud of myself. I'll post a picture when i take one, perhaps tomorrow.

I really need to upgrade my flickr account but for the time being here are some of my favourite pictures which ive taken recently [: (my main inspiration recently has been the 60s mainly because ive just always loved everything related with the 60s and ive recently bought a retrospective book of andy warhols work which i love, and of course minnie mouse for always and i think im drawn to anything red, its bizarre)

i've been roaming around i was looking down at all i see

This weekend i was actually really excited to start work for the first time, so i was waiting for the call from work on friday afternoon to ask me to do some shifts over the weekend but it never came so i'm still poor. which is absolutely rubbish, but on the bright side my grandparents are over this weekend so its actually been really nice to spend time with them.

Yesterday we went to Totnes which was actually really nice, i've never been there before but it was really cute, there were tons of organic type shops which were nice and also i found a really cute vintage shop which got me really excited because i was struggling to find nice vintage down here apart from charity shops. Even though i have no money i managed to persuade my mum to buy me a black netting vintage skirt, like an underskirt but im going to wear it with leggings. I'm also planning on wearing it on halloween with a polka dot american apparel leotard because im dressing up as minnie mouse [:

I've also spent a lot of time this weekend internet shopping, surprise surprise and ive found some new flats i want from topshop, i think i may even like them more than their monochrome chanel-esque quilted pair... they're velvet which i love and called mercedes which i love and have a chain around the ankle! perfect!

In other news, this is my new bed, i absolutely love it! it's like a princess bed and its so so comfortable. just a little lonely on my own because its so big ]]: princess loves it too.

well done baby!

Today my baby passed his theory test so i'm really proud of him because he was really worried about it all week [[: im going to send him a present tomorow [[:

This is my new hair [[: its not really that new anymore but i haven't really taken any photos of myself lately. its also red but you can't really tell from this picture...

In other news today was the last day of my fine art rotation... thank goodness!! i really don't think i can draw anymore urban landscapes with sticks or make them out of magazines and newspapers, although i still have my project to complete. So far the photomontage above is the only piece i've made which i actually like, i took 70ish photos of exeter catheral then used about 50 of them to create one large image of the cathedral attempting to make it panoramic in a kind of david hockney style. it actually turned out okay.

These are all the things i've got in charity shops recently [: so many good things. i love the books but they were really expensive but i don't care... and yes the belts were 50p each!! and i got some silk scarves and a necklace and a skirt which im going to alter cos its far too long. Overall i've managed to get some cute things even though i'm poor. I'm hoping to work in my new job this weekend so i'll be able to pay back some more of my debts [:

Even though i'm poor i've already decided what i'm going to buy next haha. i'm hopeless im never going to have any money. The things on my shopping list atm are a leapard print double skirted dress from miss selfridge which i've wanted for ages but i've finally decided to buy and hopefully Josh has reserved for me. I also need to get some plain t shirts from american apparel just to throw on with high waisted skirts and leggings. And i've managed to spill nail varnish on one of my pairs of leggings so i want to replace them [:

Andddd i'm seriously lusting over these amazzzinggg kurt geiger shoes i found on asos which are the perfect combination of goth and glamour, theyre so sexyyyy! (and also theyre called sophia which is basically sophie so its obviously fate that these shoes are perfect for me and can be my substitute sophie [:)

its one thing to fall in love and another to make it last

Golly i haven't written on here for far too long. This is going to be longggg. Basically, I've started college and I'm actually loving it, which is really very surprising because I honestly can't remember the last time I enjoyed school / college. I think the main reason is because for the first time I'm only doing things which i am truely interested in and which I want to be good at. I have college four days a week which actually isn't too bad because I get a three day weekend because my day off happens to come on the monday, which is always a good thing. My class is really nice and i get on with most of the people which is also a surprise. I've already made some really good friends who keep me going, mainly by skipping lessons and hanging out in starbucks reading magazines.

The main thing i dislike about my course is the serious lack of sleep i have to endure, since it takes me an hour and a bit from me leaving my house till i arrive at college in the morning, which means if I want to look even vaguely presentable I have to wake at 6.30am. An absolute killer! But at the moment leggings and american apparel tshirts are my saviours, when i don't have time to consider what to wear in the morning i shove them on with some exciting jewellery and cute ballet shoes and manage to maintain a somewhat decent look.

Two weekends back Boy and Claire came to visit me which was amazing, we had such a good weekend and they were the first people to see my new house which was really exciting. When they arrived, really late on the saturday night, I had prepared them a lot of food, including pizzas and curly fries and we literally stayed up till 2.30am just catching up. Then on Sunday we went to Paignton where we visited the beach and went on the pier, where i realised that i was very unlucky, due to a crazy experience with a fortune teller and lucky charms which I don't have the time or the patience to type out. We also shopped and ate chips which was fun, we got home and drank a lot of rose wine and ate chinese take out and watched one of my favourite films ever, the notebook and i actually managed not to cry which I'm still proud about.

Then last weekend it was me and Joshes 1 year anniversary so he came to visit me. He arrived late on Saturday night because he had to work in the daytime and catch the train in the evening, I had planned out exactly what we would do on the weekend and bought him gifts for our anniversary. When i waited for his train to arrive at the station it was really weird, because we'd been apart for longer than we ever had before I was excited and had butterflies but I also felt almost awkward like our first date all over again. But as soon as he got off the train I was just so happy, we hugged forever then went home and ate take out indian because thats one of his favourite foods. I showed him around the house and he gave me my gifts, he got me the new dress from the kate moss collection with the ruffles and leaf print which i adore and also the sex and the city movie. I love him. I realised just how much i missed him that weekend, just having someone to cuddle up to in bed and keep me safe, his smell just his company. On sunday we went into Exeter and shopped which was fun, Josh bought a cute shirt and tshirt and we ate lunch at wagamamas which was awesome as i've really begun to miss green tea and noodles. In the evening we ate sunday roast which was lovely, our tradition, then we ate mango sorbet and baked alaska ice cream and watched the sex and the city movie which was absolutely amazing, I loved it. On monday we went to a farm and learnt how to feed hedgehogs and groom a pony, it was really sad when Josh had to go home, i was emotional pretty much throughout the weekend just because i knew i had to let him go again and I can't bear to be apart from him. Its only been just other a week since he left and it already seems like a million years ago. i'm counting down till i get to see him in two weeks when I go back home to visit everyone for a week which I'm so so excited about.

In other news in a week I'm going to see Jose Gonzalez at the lemon grove in Exeter with some friends from college which I'm really excited about which is why i have his lyrics as the title to this blog as I've been listening to it a lot recently.

nothing lasts forever, except you and me

Gosh, i've only been living in my new house here in Newton Abbot for 5 days and it already seems like a million years, and a million miles away from everyone i love. Biffy Clyro is all I want to listen to at the moment though which is why I used one of their lyrics as the title for this.

I feel like i should pick up where i left off because otherwise this won't make any sense at all, but i haven't made a post in a while due to the fact that i don't actually have internet access at the moment and im having to use my sisters laptop to write this.

Well the trip to Oxford was definitely fun. Olly drove me there which was fun, i didn't realise Oxford was so close though, it only took 40 minutes, which was awesome and i'd never been to Oxford before and it seemed really nice. As soon as i got there my boy was outside, and after helping carry various band equipment things into the pub we went upstairs where the Strategy were already setting up and preparing to sound check. Although not many people actually watched the show, and despite it being in a tiny room above a pub which serverly lacked oxygen it was a really cool gig, mainly due to the bands playing being old friends, and new friends and it just being really friendly and nice. Anyway both bands played well, the Strategy were good as it was the first time i'd seen them since they've had a bit of a switch around with their members and i got some really good photos of both bands.

Saturday involved a lot more packing, then getting ready to go out, a lot of drinking then meeting with a lot of friends to go to a gig in wycombe, with both the Strategy and the Claytons again, who i love, and lots of friends, most of which it would be the last time I saw them for a while, including Evie, Chester and Morgana. The night was fun if not a bit uninteresting, then we went into Wycombe to the Antelope, of course, but it wasn't very interesting although i got to say goodbye and catch up with a lot of people which was nice, I then stayed at Joshes house for the last time in a while which was sad, and i miss his mum, dad and dog Lily.

The Sunday before I had to leave was probably the most difficult day, goodbyes are always hard, and even though I'm not moving ridiculously far away it's just a complete change. I had people visiting me all day in between which i had to finish my packing which, of course, I'd left until the last minute.

I had to say goodbye to Claire, which was one of the most difficult as we've grown so close, expecially over the last 6 months. We've shared so many memories over summer, most memorably our trip to Bournemouth, and as she'd just got back from her holiday we also had a lot of catching up to do. Sophie was another difficult person to say goodbye to as shes more like a twin to me than she is a friend and we've practically lived together for the last years.

I said goodbye to Emilie, who i've only met in the last year but who quickly became my best friend at college and who i have so many memories with, she always makes me smile and makes me laugh all the time. Laura, my oldest friend, who I've been friends with for 15 years and lived within walking distance from for all that time also came round to say goodbye. I'm still finding it weird not being able to just call her and go to her house for a catch up - its her who i have the most memories with and shes always there for me no matter what.

I also said goodbye to Boy, whos my one of my best boy mates, and i miss him so so much! even though hes absolutely bizarre he makes me laugh so much. Although hes already planning to come down and see me so I won't have to miss him for much longer. I'm so excited. I also said goodbye to Tom, my other best boy, however hes going to Plymouth university in the very near future so i won't be missing him for much longer. I also managed to spend some time with both Duncan and Charlie, who are both complete babes.

Finally, and definitely the most difficult, i had to say goodbye to Josh. Having spent so much time together for over a year we're closer than ever, and the thought of leaving him broke my heart, the week leading up to the sunday i was an absolute emotional wreck, however by the time sunday came along i realised it was fate, everything happens for a reason, and it was just something i had to do. I've now realised that although i miss him ridiculously every day its definitely making our relationship stronger and he's coming to visit me on the 28th of this month because thats our 1 year anniversary and i absolutely can't wait.

clean up your eyes

Golly i've been so busy this past week i've barely stopped to think about whats going on. But yes, i've decided to start a blog because i'm preparing to move to Exeter and i thought that by keeping an online journal of what im getting up to with photos and such everyone at home and at uni will still be able to know what im doing.

I've been thinking a lot during the preparations for the move and its going to be really weird. i've lived in the same house for as long as i remember and i've made so many friends and i have so many favourite places that i don't want to leave, but then again the idea of moving seems like an adventure to me and i'm a little excited, as well as ridiculously sad and sentimental about leaving everyone i love.

i've managed to meet up with the majority of people who i love already this week but i have so many more people to see over the weekend so its going to be really hectic. Yesterday was a really nice day, Boy helped me to clean my car, well basically cleaned my car while i watched and attempted to make myself useful, then it was me and joshes 11 month anniversary so we got a takeout, i got chinese of course [: and watched thirteen, which i'd already seen but i really like.

Today i've met up with Evie, did a bit of a laid back photoshoot in good old Beaconsfield and managed to draw a lot of attention from the oldies and now im preparing to catch my boyfriends band playing in Oxford, which should be fun.

The quote is from one of my favorite bands at the moment, the Dykeenies, who i've been lucky enough to see pay twice this summer, once at Underage Festival and again at V Festival in Chelmsford.